


You and Me, Honey and the Devil makes Three

by Deshima



Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Aro/Ace Spectrum, Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Canon Bisexual Character, Demiromantic Character, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Multi, There's A Tag For That
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-06 15:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16835317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deshima/pseuds/Deshima
Summary: Sometimes a family are two bisexual disasters and their demiromantic zucchini.OrHow Shallan and Adolin figure out that marriage does not have to be only two persons and invite Kaladin for cuddles





	1. where Shallan realizes a few things

**Author's Note:**

> So I haven't finished Oathbringer yet ( sorry I am a bit late to the party) but I couldn't avoid a number of spoilers . Threeway relationships that end up simplifying into a couple and one left out always make me sad. I've been shipping, Lancelot, Guinevere and Arthur before I even knew of fanfictions and OT3s. On the other hand several persons made excellent cases of Kaladin being somewhat on the ace spectrum if not outright full aro/ace. To me he reads a bit like I feel myself, mostly demiromantic and either low libido or sex-positive ace. So this is my diabetically sweet and fluffy attempt at trying to write a resolution that would satisfy both my headcannons. 
> 
> Kaladin by the way also reads like a textbook case of what would be called a dysthymia in the DSM-4 with occasional bouts of severe double depression ( sort of okayish on most days but with plenty of bad days as well and occasional episodes of deep depression with suicidal ideation) . I believe the name changed in the DSM-5 to chronic depressive disorder.  
> Shallan on the other hand is a fairly obvious case of dissociative disorder which historically was ( wrongly) shoved in together with schizophrenia. Schizophrenia actually literally translates to "split mind". It is now clear that both are very distinct disorders but that wasn't always the case. Hysteria and Soldier's Heart are both old names for a number of disorders that fall under the complex PTSD spectrum with Hysteria being the term applied to women and Soldier's Heart being the term used for men after the American Civil war, after WWI the term shell-shock became popular.

When Kaladin had told her he hadn't been truly in love with her and that he was fine even happy for her marriage to Adolin she had thought that would be that.  
Initially it also was. Marriage it turned out was _very_ distracting. Almighty above no wonder it was traditional among dark-eyes for the fathers to build a young couple's house instead of the groom himself. The only reason Shallan got anything done at all was the threat of Jasnah personally entering their sleeping room to drag her off to work. She might not have been Jasnah's ward anymore but she was still Shallan's mentor and nowadays the Queen of Alethkar to boot. If the Queen wanted those calculations yesterday you made storming sure they were ready the day before yesterday.

\

But slowly normality returned, the rose-tinted glasses did not disappear but at least became easier to take off and Shallan began to notice that Kaladin was still looking. It wasn't desire or lust or, Almighty forbid, jealousy. It was actually very hard to define especially since usually when Shallan saw looks like that it was mixed with a healthy dose of lust and desire. She only managed to pin down the emotions in Kaladin's gaze when she saw him look at Rock with his family or when he looked Stormwards to what she now knew to be Hearthstone.  
Kaladin's eyes were filled with a longing so deep and vast it looked almost gentle on the surface.  
The realisation initially made her feel extremely awkward and guilty and she spent a few weeks so intensely avoiding the Windrunner that even Adolin, dear somewhat oblivious Adolin, asked her what Kaladin had done to make her hate him so suddenly. She was better nowadays with confronting what made her feel uncomfortable and she had to admit to herself and Adolin that she really had no reasons to avoid Kaladin. It wasn't her fault that Kaladin felt like he felt. It wasn't even really his fault as emotions seldom could be controlled and at least he kept his looks discreet and when he thought nobody was looking. If Shallan didn't have an artist's eye for details she probably never would have known.

So she did him the favour of not making a fuss and tried to ignore the looks. They both had made a mature and conscious choice when they chose not to pursue anything and if Kaladin didn't come forward with his obviously still present feelings she wouldn't make their friendship, so precious in its own right, awkward with unneeded pokes to a sensitive subject. But Shallan wouldn't be Shallan if she didn't think on it once in a while.

There had always been a sadness to the Windrunner Captain buried beneath the anger and later the steely determination. Chronic depression or dysthymic disorder she vaguely remembered reading in a dusty and dry tome. _"Of Hysteria, Soldier's Heart and other disturbances of the Mind"_ it had been called. She had very quickly shut the tome when she had come to the chapter __"schizophrenias, multiple personalities and other dissociative disorders' _.___ She might be getting better at confronting her issues but she still hadn't needed to see it all laid out so starkly and clinically. Moreover she was quite convinced that her personality troubles weren't quite so easily shuffled under some type of schizophrenia. But she was getting off course as usual. Her focus was Kaladin who despite everyone's best efforts, including his own nowadays, always seemed lowkey sad.

Societal norms were changing rapidly in Urithiriu and the world in general. It was hard not to with several female Radiants (and more trickling in everyday), a Queen at the head of one of the most martial countries of Roshar, non-ardent men learning to read and the first discreet unions and marriages between two men and two women. So what exactly was the reason that relationships had to be between two people? She remembered reading that the Reshi certainly didn't seem to know of any. She decided to let those thoughts stew and mature for a while. This was not something she wanted to spoil by rushing and she had learned some restraint as Jasnah's ward.  
First question was: what did she want? She loved Adolin, fully and deeply. He made her feel whole, cherished and strong at the same time and she wouldn't trade that for all the gold in Roshar. But she had to admit that she ( not Veil not Radiant but Shallan) did also feel the seeds of something for the storm-faced Captain. It wasn't an awkward passing crush like what she had once felt for Jasnah. It was something that had the potential to grow into something just as vast and deep as what she felt for Adolin but to her relief without replacing it. Human hearts it seemed were more flexible than commonly thought. Reassured by these conclusions she asked herself the next question. What did Adolin want? A marriage after all was two people living in harmony and it wouldn't do to hurt him by thoughtlessly doing what she wanted.

This question called for some good old observation, something she was luckily good at. Adolin she knew had had his dalliances on both sides of the ballroom. Due to societal norms his affairs with men had been by necessity more discreet and brief but he had admitted to liking both men and women when he had frankly discussed his previous relationships with her. Due to this same conversation she also suspected that Kaladin would fall squarely into her husbands preferences. On the other hand Adolin had been unfailingly faithful to her from the very start and loving both genders did not equal to loving them both at the same time. So she observed.

Adolin she noticed looked at her as if she had hung the moon, the stars and the sun all by herself. If he looked anymore besotted he would be followed by infatuationspren on a permanent basis. But on the few times these looks were not aimed at her they did indeed stray to a certain Windrunner Captain. Adolin always looked incredibly guilty when he caught himself doing it and he would usually be extra attentive to her afterward. It was almost funny.  
While observing Adolin she also noticed something else. Kaladin might look longingly at her but an almost equal amounts of looks were more and more being aimed at Adolin. She didn't think Adolin had actually noticed but he surprised her by coming to her before she had drawn her final conclusion.

Pattern had been away that evening, off looking after Mayalaran who wanted to re-explore living but still had a tendency to drift off and wander. For once there were no predictions of attacks and she had been idly sketching while comfortably tucked against Adolin's side when he drew her attention by awkwardly scraping his throat.  
'Err.. Shallan?'  
'Yes, dear,'she answered somewhat distractedly. She was trying to sketch new generic faces for her Lightweaving and her aesthetic side made it really difficult to make them average.  
'You used to have some feelings for Kaladin right?'Adolin asked.  
She hummed a thoughtless confirmation before the question caught up to her and she stilled.  
She looked up sharply and raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her sheepishly looking husband. Was this going where she thought it was going? Adolin blushed at her somewhat stern expression.  
'Errr… do you...'Adolin hesitated and seemed to blush even redder if possible.  
"Spit it out , dear,'She said. Adolin tried to compose himself but when he finally managed to formulate his question it was almost as if he had to literally spit it out.  
"DoyoustilhavefeelingsforhimbecauseohAlmightythisisawakwardbutIthinkIhavefeelingsforhimbutIreallystilloveyoudearbutIsawyoureadintotheReshiandIthoughtmaybeohalmightythisisreallyawkwardbutmaybeyoumigthbeinterestedinsomethingadventurous...maybe…?  
Shallan blinked.  
"Err is this what I think it is about,'she finally asked.  
Adolin by now was blushing so hard she expected to see flamespren rise from his cheeks at any moment.  
"If it is about me proposing we try something with Kaladin, then you are right,'her husband mumbled in his collar. Almighty she had seldom seen him so embarrassed.  
Internally Shallan barely kept herself from squeaking in glee and she could feel Veil raise her fist in victory while Radiant was smiling a tad smugly. Outwardly thought she kept a calm face.  
"Why are you asking, dear?'She said.  
She hadn't meant it that way but apparently Adolin took her question as a sign of her doubts in his love. Before she knew what happened he had launched in an epic declaration of his love for her that included but did not stop at bad attempts of poetry. She laughed and kissed him on the forehead before he could get too ridiculous.  
"That wasn't what I asked , love,'she said. "I would have to be deaf, blind and stupid to not know the extent of your love."  
'Oh,'he said sheepishly.  
He fell silent for a moment.  
'Uhm, what did you ask then?'  
Shallan chuckled and tapped a finger on his nose where the red was only just retreating. Adolin briefly went cross-eyed trying to follow it.  
'Why do you propose we do something with Kaladin, 'she said, emphasizing the name to make her husband hear the difference in her question. "Also in the light of that question what would something entail?'  
Again Adolin took a moment to think but this time his answer was less rushed.  
"well first of all I think he is someone we could both love while still loving each other and I think he might at least like both of us as well. Second…. well second he looks so sad.'her husband said, his own mouth drooping as if in sympathy.  
'He always looks a bit like an abandoned axepuppy,and that is just not right. The man looks much better when he smiles.'  
Shallan hummed in agreement.  
'That he does.'She said.'And how do you think something with us would help? I don't think Kaladin does casual flings.'  
"Storms no!"Adolin exclaimed. 'Casual would kill him! If he wasn't part of the army I doubt he would even know the word. No I think what Kaladin needs is something deep, steady and meaningful. The physical might actually be even secondary.'  
Shallan blinked at the thoughtful answer. She knew that her husband was far from stupid. She often saw him masterfully play the battlefield with barely a second thought but usually his airy attitude made her forget he was also capable of deep insights into the people he cared about. Then the second part of his answer caught up with her.  
"Wait what do you the physical might be secondary?'She asked.  
Adolin hesitated again trying to order his thoughts.  
"I don't quite know actually,'he said. "A while back Renarin told me that Kaladin apparently has never been to a brothel even when Bridge Four was encouraging him. That could be because he prefers something more longlasting but he also never looks at people beyond their faces.'  
Shallan frowned, somewhat displeased that she might have missed this somehow.  
"What do you mean by that?  
'Well he doesn't focus on you breasts or your safehand for example or on my..'Adolin blushed again made an awkward move with his hand towards his crotch. "..you know.'  
Shallan chuckled a bit at Adolin's almost childish discomfort and gave small hum.  
"It could also be that his time as surgeon's apprentice has desensitized him somewhat,'She said playing the devil's advocate.  
Now it was Adolin's turn to raise an eyebrow.  
"There is a clinical gaze, love. And then there is disinterest. Kaladin is the latter.'  
Shallan had to admit defeat.  
During their nights in the chasms Kaladin could have easily have copped a discrete feel without her noticing. Yet he had remained the perfect gentleman. Even Kabsal had been more forward in some ways and the man had been impersonating an ardent.  
"Alright,'she said. 'Serious and deep yes, physical maybe not required. How are we going to do this?'  
Adolin blinked.  
'Wait you agree?'he asked."About uhm...inviting Kaladin with us?"  
Shallan laughed.  
"Love I wanted to ask the exact same thing as soon as I was done observing."  
'Oh.. Oh thank Almighty!'Adolin said with feeling.  
Shallan smiled and kissed him again, on the nose this time.


	2. Where Kaladin learns a few more

Unlike what some of his men thought Kaladin wasn't completely oblivious to matters of the heart. It was actually quite the opposite. He had in fact always been very aware of them and how somehow he seemed to defy every norm that people believed applied to normal relationships. For a long time he had thought it was just another way he was a bit broken like with his dark days and the guilt he seldom seemed able to shake. Tarah had been the first to make him think he might not have been as broken as he thought. Their romance hadn't started the way other people usually described it. There hadn't been a sudden bolt of attraction or the baffling lovesickness that seemed to affect his fellow soldiers whenever they had a new sweetheart. It had started slow like water wearing at stone. They barely knew each other initially but as the weeks and months flew by they had learned to know each other better and with it the attraction had grown until like a flash flood Kaladin had realized he was in love. Tarah had once confessed she had felt the same, that she too had once thought she might have been a bit broken. That had been a relief though Kaladin did notice their experiences weren't entirely the same. Once the love was there Tarah seemed to enjoy the sex very much ( he had been a surgeon's apprentice, he was not going to blush when mentioning sex). For Kaladin it had been somewhat enjoyable as well but mostly because it was an opportunity to spent time with Tarah while she was enjoying herself. The act in itself was nice but he still couldn't quite see why people would go to such length to have it. An evening of stargazing was just as if not more enjoyable. Luckily Tarah seemed to understand but before they could explore it further she had moved away.

After that he never did form any relationships that were close enough to deepen into something more until he became Captain of the Kholin Guard. The first few weeks he had still been reeling from everything that it didn't even cross his mind. But as the rest of Bridge Four began to talk of having their families come over or flirting with potential significant others he began to think of it as well. Most of Bridge Four was out as they were his subordinates ( now matter how informal their command structure was) but he had briefly thought of Moash before the matter of the King came up. Then Moash betrayed them and well that was one opportunity gone before he could even make an attempt. 

Then there was Shallan. At first he had thought of her as yet another annoying, bubbly, opportunistic light-eyes. But he saw another side of her in the chasms and as their banter turned from mean and acerbic to merely teasing he quickly realised he was in over his head. Not only because she was betrothed but to Adolin who he also was starting respect and ( he felt a need to slap himself when he noticed) was also developing feelings for. Storms but couldn't his life be simple on one thing. Syl's teasing and pushing really was not helping.  
In the end though he decided to let them both go. Both Shallan and Adolin were deeply sensual people and he doubted they would ever be satisfied by his only lukewarm participation. Besides he was darkeyes despite the recent change in eyecolor and no matter how Dalinar tried to dress it up one did not simply step into lighteyes society if one wasn't born to it. 

Syl of course called him all ten names of the fools but he felt like it was the right choice. Storms he didn't even know for sure if Adolin liked men!

Still he couldn't help but look at them sometimes, together or apart. Initially they were so wrapped up in each they didn't notice but a month or so after their wedding he saw Shallan watch back sometimes a contemplative look on her face. He thought she had figured it out for sure when she started avoiding him but before he could resign himself to another lost friend she started behaving normally again. Or at least as normal as Shallan could be. The looks remained, speculative and sharp though they did not only rest on him but on Adolin as well.

He almost missed it when Adolin also started looking. The princeling could be surprisingly subtle, though his boisterous en somewhat flamboyant manner often let people think otherwise. Most people though did not have a second set of eyes in the form of a nosy spren who was more than eager to inform him that yes both Kholins had been throwing him "looks"( Syl 's tone when she said that almost made Kaladin snort up his water). 

Kaladin did not quite know what to think of that. They had each other, didn't they, and they obviously were more than satisfied with that to judge by the almost sickeningly sweet displays in the barely concealed nooks of Urithiriu. So why were they also looking at him? Had they noticed him watching? Did they not like it? If so why didn't they say something?

The unanswered questions left him nervous and jittery and when the two newlywed Kholins approached him about four months after their wedding he almost felt relieved that one way or the other it would soon be over. In the best case they would ask and then agree with him to ignore it. In the worst case he would lose two friends. He'd prefer the former over the latter but either way at least he wouldn't have to wonder anymore.

What came out of Adolin's mouth however surprises him.  
'Did you know that on the Reshi Islands they don't marry like here?'  
Kaladin blinked.  
'No silly!'Shallan interupted her husband. "You are telling it wrong. They don't really have marriages at all. What they do have are understandings that are a bit _like _marriages. Didn't you listen?__  
Kaladin blinked again.  
'Ah-uhm?'  
'It does serve the same purpose as a marriage though so I might as well call a spade a spade." Adolin replied.  
"A lie to better express a truth?' Pattern mused from his position on Shallan's glove.  
Adolin nodded at the Cryptid.  
'Something like that,'he replied. Mayalaren was for once perched on his shoulder instead of poking around, looking like an odd sort of vine waving in an unseen breeze. It would have looked funny if Kaladin wasn't baffled by what the two Kholins wanted.  
He scraped his throat.  
'Uhm did you want something else from me outside of debating Reshi marriage customs?'he asked.  
'Oh!, 'Shallan said. "We weren't!... Or I mean we weren't really debating Reshi marriage customs though it is related to what we want to ask you. '  
'Oh'  
For a moment an awkward silence filled the deserted hallway they currently were in.  
"So what was you question?' Kaladin finally asked.  
The two other Radiants shared a secretive but somewhat awkward look before Adolin gave Shallan a short nod.  
Shallan drew a deep breath and started talking.  
'We have noticed that you have been looking at us. Both of us.'  
Kaladin felt his stomach drop. So it was about the looks. He nodded at her to continue, feeling as if instead of breathing stormlight he was breathing in lead.  
"And we have also been looking.. at you I mean. Also at each other obviously but at you as well."  
Kaladin frowned this wasn't quite how he expected this talk to go.  
'What do you mean?'  
"What my lovely wife means, bridgeboy,'Adolin interrupted. "Or rather what she would mean if she wasn't dancing around it, is that we love each other but we both think we might at least like you as well and since you seem to be feeling something similar towards us it might be an idea to try it out. The Reshi have similar arrangements, which was why we started with them, so it's not as if it isn't possible.'  
"Adolin!'  
"What!"  
"You don't say it like that!'  
'It got the job done!"  
Kaladin gave a small cough, his mind whirling into a incomprehensible mess. On his shoulder and invisible for now Syl was making flips of joy.  
"Say, yes! Say, yes!" she said.  
'It might not be a good idea,'He said instead.  
"No!,' Syl yelled in his ear. "You storming idiot! No!"  
"Why? Because you don't like sex?'Shallan asked a hint of a blush on her face.  
Kaladan half-coughed half-wheezed again, surprised by both her blunt use of the word and the casual mention of something he had thought to be fairly private knowledge.  
'How?'he croaked.  
"Well you never go to the brothel according to Bridge Four,'Adolin answered. ' And I have yet to see you look at people's attributes even when explicitly invited. I didn't think it was possible but you managed to look that courtesan in the eye the whole time she was trying to shove her cleavage in your face. Nobody has that kind of restraint unless they happen to be not terribly interested.'  
'Oh'  
'Which is okay since if the only thing you like to do is hugging we still have each other for the other stuff."Shallan added.  
'Oh,'Kaladin said again. He hesitated and then, seeing Syl nod frantically, continued.  
"I actually don't really dislike sex. I can actually enjoy it but mostly because it involves spending time with people I like when they are having fun. Otherwise I don't see the point."  
"Excellent!'Adolin said. "That's perfectly fine too. Are you amenable for a threesome then? I love to try it out if it is in the cards!"  
"Adolin!" Shallan yelled again, her face having finally lost the battle with embarrassment and turning as red as her hair in the process.  
'Again, what! It's not as if you weren't thinking it too!"  
Kaladin felt something bubble up in his chest and a moment later bright laughter spilled from his lips. Almighty above but these two were ridiculous. The laughter, rare as it was, did something that few other things outside of casualty-reports and alarms managed. It immediately shut up the two Kholins. They looked at him and then started laughing too.  
'Sooooo,'Adolin said when everyone had calmed down. "Are you amenable?'  
Kaladin hiccuped a bit before answering.  
"Yes I think I am amenable.'  
"Can we kiss you then?'  
"Might as well start,'Kaladin answered, a rare twinkle in his eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you might have guessed I picture Adolin becoming an Edgedancer after managing to help Mayalaren. His brokenness might be milder than of our other two idiots, but he's had plenty of grief already with his mother 's death and his worries about his father and brother. He's also had a lot of responsibilities piled on him at a fairly young age, add at least a touch of PTSD and either pinch of dyslexia or ADHD, and yeah I think our Golden Boy is broken enough to fit right in with the other Radiants.  
> Also yay! No more pining around! Our three idiots are going to try threesoming. Last chapter will be from Adolin's perspective I think and will show how the relationship evolves.


	3. In which Adolin reaches a few conclusions

Though he didn't dwell on it often Adolin knew damn well that he was born in a position of privilege and power. Things most people had to fight for he got handed as a matter of course, he was the heir of one of the most important princedoms of Alethkar, he was healthy and good looking and a good fighter in a society that praised that as the highest ideal. Sure, life had given him some knocks, his mother's death, his worries about his father and his brother and of course the current state of the world but that was a more general thing. Overall though he was very aware that he got disgustingly lucky when whoever is responsible for this drew his lot in life. 

And yet he couldn't help but be greedy for more. He realized early on he was the kind of person who loved to love. He loved his family deeply, quirks, annoyances, defects and all. He loved every single person he courted and a few persons he didn't (which is how quite a few relationships fell through). He loved his friends ( even if they betrayed him later), he loved his pets ( thought the word 'pet' was dubious in Surefoot's case) and he even loved his storming Shardblade ( thank the Almighty he did). And yet his heart, promiscuous little thing it was, was always ready to stretch a little bit for more. It wasn't unusual for young Alethi lighteyes to fool around a bit before settling down but Adolin knew fairly sure it wasn't supposed to go like that. He often wondered if there was something wrong with him, that he'd taken all the ability to interact and love being around people leaving Renarin with too little. The one time he'd talked to Jasnah about it she had been quick to reassure him and dismiss his theory but even so he couldn't help but feel he was not entirely alright.

Then there was Shallan. Bright, funny Shallan with her irreverent questions and comments. Who saw him and liked what she saw, who knew of his previous string of lovers and didn't mind or judge, who was just as if not more broken than he was and seemed to fit right in his own cracks. For a while it seemed that she would finally fill that bottomless pit that always wanted something more to love and he had been over the moons when she had accepted to marry him.

He should have known it was too good to be true. Six weeks is all it took for his eyes to start wandering again looking for one more person to love. He still loved Shallan of course, she completed him and literally and figuratively filled his life with light. It wasn't as if she didn't fill up the space that she used to anymore. His heart, it seemed had stretched up again and had decided that Bridgeboy was the one that should fill up that extra space. He found himself admiring the Windrunner's dark curls almost as often as Shallan's red ones, the shift of narrow hips alongside the gentle swell of breasts. He tried not to. When he noticed what he was doing he tried to look away, to look at his wife who he loved like the sun itself. But still his eyes wandered and as they did he noticed things.

Adolin knew people thought him unobservant. It wasn't entirely untrue but it wasn't completely true either. Being underestimated is a gift from your enemies he remembered one of his teachers saying and he never minded playing the fool a bit. So he saw that when he looked at Bridgeboy, Bridgeboy sometimes looked back while normally he never did. He saw that like him Shallan looked at two persons, him and Bridgeboy. He saw that Bridgeboy did the same. 

He didn't dare to hope too much but he learned a lot of things in the army and one of them was that sometimes you just have to storm in, trust yourself and see where the chips fall.  
He was ecstatic when Shallan agreed, without fuss and with something akin to glee. He was almost bursting with happiness when Bridgeboy- Kaladin-did. This he suspected might finally satisfy his elastic heart.

Of course it wasn't easy. Relationships were messy already when they involved two persons let alone three. Add to that the fact they lived in times of war where all three had significant roles to play? Well let's say it wasn't beyond bumps. Some of the more proper folks tried to judge them but there were perks to being from a martial culture. Alethi could be ruthlessly pragmatic and with the possible end of times coming most people in Urithiriu at least figured they couldn't really blame anyone for enjoying themselves if nobody got hurt. That same pragmatism also meant however that duty often came before family. If a job needed done, be it a patrol, a defense against a raid, a supply run or a mission, it had to be done no matter if you initially had intended to spent a quiet (and much needed) evening cuddling your partners on the sofa. 

The war also meant they were often too exhausted to do anything beyond the cuddling on the sofa or that sometimes they had so little time that the only contact they had with each other were a few stolen kisses at the door before each went their own way. It meant endless worries when one of them had to go out. It meant screaming rows when one of them got hurt doing something stupid, brave or stupidly brave (Kaladin was the worst offender but neither Shallan or Adolin were any better). It meant broken nights when nightmares haunted them and clouded days when one of their issues played up ( Kaladin's were the most straightforward but often lasted longest, Shallan's were the most complex while Adolin's were the most subtle). But they hobbled along and despite the bumps they managed to build something solid and sweet. 

Adolin had somewhat expected for Kaladin's disinterest in sex to become an issue at some point . But while the sex itself didn't interest Kaladin, the intimacy did and when they had the opportunity for slow and languid he often joined. A quick interlude in hidden alcoves however, more relief than real lovemaking, was something Shallan and Adolin more often shared without him. But though he seldom participated in those he would still sometimes be there. A sentinel against interruptions, a pithy comment to relieve the "thank-the-Almighty-we're-alive" tension, a loving hand on sweaty necks or backs, an extra set of lips to kiss and extra set of arms to hug during the too brief post-coital haze after. Adolin had though it might be weird to have someone else present but who wasn't actively participating but to his surprise it actually added an extra dimension for him. It was all the same to Shallan but for Adolin it was almost as exciting as when all three of them were participating. To have Kaladin's calm gaze on them as they enjoyed themselves, guarding them and observing them was something very special indeed. When he tried to explain, Shallan had laughed and called him an exhibitionist while Kaladin had made a sarcastic comment about frilly princelings before getting a not so gentle elbow in the ribs from Shallan. Between the somewhat exaggerated groans of pain his eyes had twinkled with a rare spark of mischief and Adolin had let a quiet sigh of relief when he realised neither of his two partners minded. 

Something that did become an issue was reproduction. Even though it was mostly occupied by the Voidbringers right now Adolin was the heir of one of the biggest princedoms of Alethkar. Personally he couldn't care less whether any future child Shallan bore would technically be his or not. Both his father and Jasnah however had reminded him that for the future stability of the kingdom Shallan's first born at least had better have three-toned hair. It would probably not be too hard to arrange when it got to that point but still Adolin was somewhat relieved he wouldn't have to think of it yet. With a war going and Shallan just as important to the effort as the two men everyone had agreed that pregnancy was not an option right now no matter how vulnerable it might leave the princedom if a voidbringer got lucky. Adolin counted himself very fortunate that one of his partners studied natural history and the other was a surgeon's son as it meant that together they had come up with a clever cocktail of herbs that would prevent pregnancy without Shallan having to keep track of her somewhat erratic cycle.

Still he couldn't help but wonder sometimes about any future children. The first one would have to, for inheritances sake, be his and Shallan's of course. He imagined them to have mostly red and blond hair with maybe some of his father's black. Tan skin but hopefully some of Shallan's freckles as well and blue eyes like a clear sky. The next one ( Shallan always huffed at him when he tried to say ones plural, grumbling about giving birth not being easy) he imagined having red and black hair however and maybe odd-eyed ( they didn't know for sure which of Kaladin's eye colors would come through, his original warm brown or the Radiant sea-glass blue). Sometimes Adolin even let his mind wander beyond these first two children, imagining a large loud brood that would finally fill the empty Kholin estate with life. He suspected that of them three Kaladin would probably deal best with children. Despite his broody attitude he was a protector and children usually seemed to sense this, easily seeking out his company and trusting him without question. In turn the WIndrunner would reward them with his usually hard-to-come smiles. Already for this reason alone Adolin and Shallan readily accepted any requests to babysit either Gavinor or Oroden. On Kaladin's really bad days they even tried to set up play-dates for the two boys and strong-armed Kaladin into supervising, knowing it would maybe not completely lift the gloom but at least lighten it a great deal. Syl and Lift laughingly called it child-therapy, but it did work more often than not derailing the downward spiral into an upward one. Adolin's and Shallan's issues didn't quite have such straightforward solutions but the longer they were together the better they seemed to get as well until one and half a year after they had asked Kaladin to join Adolin realized it had been a months since last time he felt like an impostor in his own skin. He smiled and went to kiss his partners awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit harder as it hardly had any true plotpoints but mostly a sort of rambling how-are-they-doing line wandering through it. It is a bit disjointed which I didn't like at first but since I headcannon Adolin as having a touch of ADHD it is quite likely how his thoughts go anyway ( Gods know mine do). Apart from that and the almost inevitable PTSD I also strongly suspect Adolin of having a serious case of Impostor syndrome. He hasn't quite managed to put his issues to word like Shallan and Kaladin do which is why I also didn't quite voice it but the arguments are there. For a guy who is one of the most powerful men in the country and related to most of the rest Adolin is surprisingly humble. Sure he brags about his fighting skills but is it really bragging when it is most definitely true? He is not eager to take over the princedom, obviously thinking he is not ready at all, while throughout the books he already seems quite capable of leading people and unlike most powerful twenty-somethings he does not feel any qualms ceding the stage to others when he feels they know better. So in short we have a guy who seems to have a realistic insight into his own skills and might even underestimate them while he has every reason to be an arrogant ass. He is also a perfectionist and more than able to put on a good show despite his own feelings ( for a guy who lost his mother to war and almost lost his father to drink Adolin is entirely too chipper sometimes). In short, Houston we have an Impostor syndrome.


End file.
